Finding Strength
Sometimes I hate myself for trying hard.

Do I have to do so much?

It makes me wonder if anyone actually sees the effort.

Sometimes I ask myself whether all the many things I do are worthwhile,

After all, I'm broken and mangled once more.

I'm already trying my best,

Almost threw in the towel,

But picked myself up again.

I'm trying to look on the brighter side

For 2 months ago, all I saw were dark clouds.

I never knew it could be so difficult;

I never knew you could be so difficult.

I wonder what you need me to do,

For I'm already doing what I can,

Holding on to what I believe.

My conscience is clear.

My heart is whole.

I'm glad He knows,

And that's more than sufficient.
- posted by NaNa @ 6:39 AM |

Lost and Found
Have you ever had the experience when you lost something important?

Well, careless me lost my entire bag today at VCH during the rehearsal for RIH'06. I had dumped my bag on one of the front row seats in the auditorium, attended to my 2 emcees and when I turned around, to my horror, my entire bag was gone. I was in total disbelief for the bag was gone in a jiffy! I even thought I had misplaced my bag or that it had fallen between the gaps in the seat. It was only 10 minutes later that I went up to someone to tell them that my bag was missing. Disgusted with my own carelessness, I felt insecure and lost, all at the same time.

I told J, W and a few students and all hunted high and low for the bag but to no avail. I even had to borrow $20 from J to get home. To others, I could only offer a scanty description of the bag - black with brown straps. Utterly crestfallen, I found myself thinking of my bag and not the emcees whom I was there for. Putting everything aside, I tried my utmost to focus on my job. I must admit that I took approximately 30 minutes before I could fully let go. It was then that one of the teachers informed Mr T about my missing bag. He then entrusted all the DHS to hunt for it, even to check the dustbins. Who was I, to have the whole CO hunting for my bag? I'm not even their teacher-in-charge. Nevertheless, this action touched my heart. Almost everyone chipped in their extra bit to help. Sadly, their generous actions made me feel worse. For I felt like a total retard, having lost my bag because of sheer carelessness on my part.

Anyway, some teachers advised me to cancel my cards, handphones and others. Others reminded me that several incidences like this had happened before and the bags were never to be found again. My wallet was stolen several years ago when I was a practicum teacher at BSS. However, this time round, though I was ready to give up, I tried to convince myself that I must continue to have faith in students. Perhaps someone had taken my bag by mistake. It was then that I realised that I had yet to pray. I had done everything except pray.

I then stood in one corner of the hall, a more obscure corner and prayed. I was not concerned about the money in my wallet but more so about the cards, important documents for the coming EOY workshop and SYF in the bag itself. I then told J to pray for me on his way home.

Amazingly enough, my bag was found during the interval with everything intact. My students brought it up to me, claiming that some N students had found it amidst their belongings. Apparently someone had taken the bag by mistake.

Praise the Lord!

I learnt 3 things today:
1) That I need to take care of my belongings.
2) That I can always rely on Him in times of need.
3) That I must always seek Him first

Great day. Great lesson.
- posted by NaNa @ 8:11 AM |

Get to know yourself better
Did a quiz on getting to know myself better. In case you think I'm very free in the holidays, the answer is NO. I just need a break from SEM and work for the moment. How true is it? ;)

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. (Yup, I'm blunt. Just say it straight in my face) You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties. (That's because I'm a Libran)

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true. (Nods my head in agreement)

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person. (Guess so)

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. (Not really! Seductive... nah!) The opposite sex finds this very attractive(Don't think so), and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms (I wish this would happen...haha). But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can. (Bingo! Hey this quiz is accurate. That's why I'm an educator!)

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life. (See, now you know why I'm teaching?)

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying. (Keeps my fingers crossed)

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you. (I'm INDEPENDENT for sure!)

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve. (Definitely spot on! I'm EMO, according to J)
- posted by NaNa @ 11:42 PM |

Breathe Again
Artist: Juwita Suwito


Have you wondered how it feels when it's all over?
Wondered how it feels when you just have to start anew?
Never knowing where you're going
When you face a brand new day
It used to be that way
Now I just close my eyes and say

I just want to breathe again, learn to face the joy and pain
Discover how to laugh a little, cry a little, live a little more
I just wanna face the day, forget about the woes of yesterday
Maybe if I hope a little, try a little more
I’ll breathe again

Starting out again is never easy
Disappointments come and go but life still moves on
With a bit of luck
It’s a brand new start
That might just work my way
No need to walk away
Don't want to live on life's replay

I just want to breathe again, learn to face the joy and pain
Discover how to laugh a little, cry a little, live a little more
I just wanna face the day, forget about the woes of yesterday
Maybe if I hope a little, try a little more
I’ll breathe again

Things will work out fine
If you can find the courage to look past the night
To see the break of dawn

I just want to breathe again, learn to face the joy and pain
Discover how to laugh a little, cry a little, live a little more
I just wanna face the day, forget about the woes of yesterday
Maybe if I hope a little, try a little more
I'll breathe again

I'll breathe again...
- posted by NaNa @ 3:31 AM |

Sick
I hate being sick. Period.
- posted by NaNa @ 7:16 AM |